🥒 Zucchini
How to grow
Zucchini is summer squash's most enthusiastic ambassador and the reason gardeners develop a reputation for forcing vegetables on coworkers. Direct-sow an inch deep after frost danger when soil hits 65°F+. One to two plants per household is the correct amount; four plants is a cry for help.
Like all squash, zucchini makes separate male and female flowers and needs pollinators to connect them. The running joke about giant zucchini exists because people stop checking daily — a zucchini doubles in size overnight, and oversized ones are seedy and watery while signaling the plant to slow down. Harvest small and often: 6–8 inches is perfect, and the blossoms are edible too (stuff them, fry them, thank us later).
Zucchini wants the same deal as all squash: rich soil, heavy mulch, water at the base. It's a heavy feeder — those giant leaves and explosive growth run on serious nutrients — so amend the planting area generously.
Water & feeding
Deep watering, 1–2 inches a week at the base, morning only. Wet leaves + warm nights = powdery mildew by August, guaranteed. A big handful of worm castings in the planting hole and a mid-season side-dress keeps up with the plant's frankly unreasonable nutrient demands.
Common problems
- Squash vine borer: the #1 zucchini killer — row cover until bloom, then remove for pollinators; bury stems at leaf nodes to encourage backup rooting.
- Powdery mildew: airflow, base watering, resistant varieties; worst leaves can be removed without hurting production.
- Blossom end rot on tiny fruit: usually failed pollination, not calcium — hand-pollinate morning flowers.
- Too much zucchini: not actually a plant problem, but leave a box labeled 'FREE' at the end of your driveway and it'll solve itself.
Harvest
Every 1–2 days at 6–8 inches long. Check under every leaf — they hide. Use a knife or pruners; twisting can damage the plant. Eat the flowers, grate the giants into bread, and accept your fate.